Stay true to self

I have started to accept that I am just not a very sociable person, and that is okay.

Today I saw a friend and we talked over coffee for a few hours.

I decided I would not see anyone tomorrow.

I cannot schedule lots of social events. I tend to feel drained if I do.

If I spend a long time talking with someone, I like to be alone afterwards before I see another friend again.

I hope friends who get to know me better will understand this and would not take it personal when I turn them down.

It is important to be honest with yourself.

It does not matter what other people do or prefer.

I used to try and be as sociable as I can because I did not want to feel left out when everyone else was having fun.

I definitely met more people but it was not possible to stay in touch with all of them.

I feel less stressed and more in control of my pace now.

Your words are dead

Forget all the values you promote

Forget the advert you used minorities

On purpose

If you cannot bother to include them

In your mundane conversations

In your social gatherings

How can you claim you care

Let alone love

Nothing did, does, will change

Your irony is alive and well

Your words are dead to me

Still

 

I wrote this poem about my frustration with the society.

It upsets me to hear another person sharing this experience with me.

I have been there myself so I know what it is like to be left feeling “the outsider.”

Nothing seems to change.

The government and our society are good at creating slogans to persuade us that they want unity and they celebrate diversity.

But in reality, it is easier to make themselves look good than to examine and confront their internal biases and change their own behaviours.

I am inspired by this article The challenges of making friends from other racial groups

If you truly want change, start from yourself.

Invite a colleague of different race to lunch.

Talk to a minority classmate who appears on their own.

Actions are more contagious than words.

 

 

Less is more

Some of my daily skincare products.

I just ordered Foreo UFO smart mask. Let’s see how that goes.

There seems to be a trend of wearing heavy makeup in England. When I go home to Taiwan, I find most people wearing minimal makeup. But when I come back here, it’s the opposite.

I am trying to actively improve my skin so I can start wearing less and less makeup. I don’t like the idea of having to wear lots of makeup. There are so many videos out there that show full makeup tutorials. But ultimately if we improve our skin, we will no longer have to put that much makeup on.

It’s important to realise the money and habit you invest in skincare will benefit you in the long run – not only will you spend less money on makeup, you will save time by putting less makeup on. It’s a win-win.

Skin care is no magic

I stopped drinking alcohol recently and started drinking at least 7 glasses of water a day.

I used to drink perhaps 2 glasses of water maximum per day. Sometimes I forgot to do it completely.

Since I started this habit, my skin has improved. I find it more smooth and I can apply makeup more easily.

I also started testing a new routine:
Cleansing -> steam my face with boiled water -> face mask -> Zelens Z recovery intensive repair balm

Here are some photos I took afterwards.

I must admit it is quite tempting to want mulled wine now but I am resisting it after seeing the improvement of my skin.

Today I saw a friend who is older than me but looks way younger than me. She did not wear makeup. I cannot not wear makeup when I go out anymore and it saddens me. I asked how she did it and she said she does not stay up.

This is a difficult one as I often have trouble falling asleep. But after seeing her skin, I am determined to go to bed earlier. I am going to try it by an hour first and slowly adding it gradually. Hopefully I can start going to bed by 10pm everyday.

If you can share your favourite skin care products with me, I would like to check them out. I am testing out various products to find the most suitable ones. So far Zelens Z recovery intensive repair balm is fantastic (but why must the name be so long?!).

Please send any tips my way.

 

 

Isolation

Recently my work has brought more awareness to me on the issues with isolation, particularly among autistic people.

Class leader should be actively looking out for exclusions. Academic performance is only a part of university life. If a student struggles to find support in class, chances are he or she may start losing motivations for university.

When you see someone who is not included in a group, whether it is at school or work, try and speak to them.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been in situations when nobody reaches out to the one(s) who appear to be the outsiders. Perhaps they are more shy. Perhaps the group already know each other well. Perhaps it’s both of the reasons or neither of them. If you have been in this situation and are unlucky enough to be the outsider, you know that feeling is not pleasant and you ask yourself why you bother to come in the first place.

If you are unsure of what to say to them, ask a question.

I notice that people love keeping their own group of friends and it makes perfect sense cause we all love our comfort zones. Having new people in is difficult when you already got that group of people that you are most familiar with. But imagine yourself as that new person, you would want to be included and you would love a sense of belonging.

Sometimes all it takes is for one person to be that kind soul to step out of their comfort zone and welcome them.